City Council Investigates Ongoing Turf War Between Pigeons and Drones

Tensions continue to rise downtown as the city’s pigeons refuse to cede airspace to delivery drones. According to sources within the Department of Urban Harmony, a ceasefire proposal was tabled last week after a particularly violent skirmish over a bagel near 7th and Main.

Local businesses are suffering as delivery algorithms reroute packages to avoid “avian-controlled zones.” Residents report that some pigeons have begun wearing reflective stickers—an apparent intimidation tactic to confuse facial recognition systems.

City officials remain divided. “We can’t just declare the skies neutral,” said Councilman Harland Greene. “The pigeons were here first, but the drones pay taxes—sort of.”

Negotiations are ongoing, though talks are expected to stall again once migration season begins.